Humans are, on the whole, social beings. It’s our very need to be sociable and affable that can make giving tough feedback or requests so hard. We’re also often sensitive creatives and for all our open-minded requests for ‘honest feedback’ and ‘constructive criticism’ receiving even the most well-intentioned feedback can leave you deflated.
Many walk a managerial tight rope between being ‘nice’ and therefore taking on more workload and the possibility of being perceived a pushover, or being a ‘harsh’ manager where you are vulnerable to being left out of the loop and inhibit the team’s ability to advance forward and collaborate.
With all these ruffled feathers about, it’s no wonder then, that one of the most cited reason for job seekers’ leaving their current employment is there relationship with their line manager.
Working with others can be hard as a subordinate, and even harder as a manager.
If you want to be respected follow use the “DEAR MAN” 7 step conversation technique.
If you don’t want to be a pushover follow the “DEAR MAN” 7 step conversation technique.
If you want to get your point across in a succinct and respectful way, follow the “DEAR MAN” 7 step conversation technique.
If you want to get what you want and still foster positive relationships follow the “DEAR MAN” 7 step conversation technique.
Surprisingly, repetition is not one of the points of the technique. I just thought it might help you remember the strategy.
The 7 step conversational technique uses the acrostic “DEAR MAN”. If you like it, you can thank Dr Marsha Linehan’s Dialectical Behavioural Therapy.
It made me more assertive in work and home without feeling outside myself and helped me to maintain positive relationships, whilst still getting what I wanted. I hope that by sharing, it can help others to get their point across too. The framework allows for open, clear and concise communication. No more hidden resentments, unmet needs or hurt feelings.
You can read the full write up of our article on Skills You Need with full details and examples of each stage.
Read the article and let us know if you feel more assertive, and humam @ApplauseIT